Matters of the Heart
by BethSHeartbeat
Summary: Post ep fic (30/08/15) Zoe's on her own and Max is with Charlie, until he convinces him to go to Zoe. When Max has a big demand for Zoe, what will she do?


Tears spilled down her face as she was once again left on her own, while she hadn't lost everything, she'd certainly lost the only thing that actually mattered to her. In the space of a year she'd fallen so deeply in love with Max, she loved him so much and yet again she'd managed to mess things up. Once again she'd told herself that she didn't deserve to be happy, and once again she'd hurt the person she loved because of that.

Her new husband could barely look at her, she felt dirty, she was consumed with guilt but she was already missing Max. She mourned for the loss of her marriage, the marriage that hadn't even lasted 24 hours.

"Max, why aren't you with her?" Charlie asked, once Louis had slipped out to go to the toilet.  
"I'm talking to you." Max replied, his head thrown into a conflict at even the mention of his wife.  
"Have you visited her since she came in?" Charlie asked, not needing an answer as Max looked away slightly, no longer able to meet Charlie's gaze.  
"Then go, she acts all tough but I'm sure that right now she's terrified and lonely. Before all of this" he began, gesturing to the machines and wires that were attached to him. "she wouldn't stop calling for you."  
"And what if I can't see her right now?" Max asked, tears pricking at his eyes.  
"You put aside your feelings, right now they aren't what's important. What's important is that the woman that you love almost died tonight." Charlie explained. For a second Max just sat there, thinking through what he was being told, before he stood up.  
"Thank you for saving her." Max almost whispered as he went to leave.  
"Wait, Max!" Charlie called. "Take these to her." Charlie told him, handing Max the bowl of fruits that he'd been left earlier in the evening.

* * *

Zoe stared slightly as Max walked into the room, for a few minutes she was convinced it was a dream, until he sat beside her. She reached out slightly, more to make sure that he was really there but she was hardly surprised when he pulled back slightly. Max stood up again, still unable to take his eyes off of his wife as he placed the bowl of fruit down on the table beside her bed.  
"From Charlie." Max told her simply.  
"Is he okay?" She asked, sensing that Max was here by his request rather than his own longing to see her.  
"They said he'd be okay but I didn't really understand what they said. After all, I'm not as clever as you are." He replied, he never quite felt good enough for Zoe and her recent antics had proved to him that he wasn't.  
"Please don't do this Max, I love you so much." Zoe cried, reaching for his hand. This time he didn't pull back, he just stared at her, there was still so much love in his eyes but she could see the pure hurt there too. "I don't deserve your forgiveness Max, I was so desperate not to hurt you and I still did." She sobbed.  
"You don't deserve forgiveness." Max repeated. "Zoe you've broken my heart. I thought it was safe with you, I thought we were in love. I thought we were going to be happy and in a night you ruined all of that. I married a cheat." He replied, breaking down into tears.  
"Max, I need you here but you need to go because I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't deserve to be happy, but you do." Zoe sobbed, not quite believing what she was saying.  
"You don't get it, do you?" Max asked, wiping away the tears as he grabbed some fruit from the bowl. Zoe looked at him, he showed no signs of moving or leaving, she wasn't ashamed to admit that she really didn't get it. "You do deserve to be happy, you just put barriers up to prevent yourself from being happy. You set out to make yourself unhappy and hurt others at the same time. We were happy Zoe."  
"I'll try harder to knock those barriers down Max, please just give me a second chance."  
"You wanted me to leave a minute ago." He joked, as he tried to make himself feel better enough to say what he really wanted to. "I think you know how much you hurt me and I think you know that I can't forgive you..."  
"Max please don't say it's over, I love you so much. I need us."  
"Don't Zo', please just listen to me for a second. I can't forgive you yet, and it may take a while but I'm willing to try and move past this, but I'm not willing to do it in Holby. The balls back in your court, we can move away and work this out or we can stay here and separate." Zoe loved Holby but she didn't even have to think about her response, there was no way she was giving up on Max now.  
"I want to be with you, as soon as I'm out of hospital we can move. I don't care where, just don't leave me."  
"It's not going to be easy Zo', it's going to be hard work to get even close to what we were like before."  
"I know but I'll do whatever." She looked down at her hand in his and squeezed slightly. "I love you."  
"I still love you too Zoe, now just focus on getting better so we can get out of this place."


End file.
